As a young intellectual, I spend a rather large chunk of my time thinking about the future. Like any other girl, I have dreams, visions of what my future will be like, where I will be as an individual and as a member of my society.
I have created a series of criteria that qualify my ideal life partner. They are so exorbitant and ridiculous that I have no doubt that this man does not in fact exist.
My ideal job is always found in a lab. However, in my future, I am easily able to conduct my preferred research without begging for grants because my aforementioned perfect husband also has a considerable fortune.
I also save lives with my work, do charity, volunteer, have a thriving social circle, and am loved and respected by all of my coworkers and peers.
This is my idealistic dream, no, EXPECTATION for the future.
And frankly, I am afraid.
What if this future exists, but I am not good enough for it?
If that man is really alive, why would he choose me? I am as flawed as the next person, so there is nothing that qualifies me for the perfect relationship.
If that job is there, why would I get it? I am not the most intelligent person I know, nor will I ever be. I am not the most talented, nor the kindest, nor the most virtuous or brave. There will always be someone more qualified, more beautiful, kinder, braver, smarter..... so what guarantees me my future? And even if I get mine, what is the cost? Will I be crushing someone else's in the process?
It's always nice to think that the world is carved into a set of snug niches, that everyone has their place and will find it at some point. Some may struggle more than others, but everyone will find their happy place. Sadly, we know that this is not true. Some people live out their whole lives, and die looking back in disappointment.
What if I become one of those people?
More importantly, what means more: finding your happy place, or helping others find theirs?
Maybe helping others is my happy place. I wish life were that easy.
I guess only time will tell. Until then, here's one of my favorite quotes: Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. :)
You're lovely <3
ReplyDeleteThank you <3 Not as lovely as you mija :)
DeleteWhat if this future exists, but I am not good enough for it? - You are.
ReplyDeleteIf that man is really alive, why would he choose me? - Because you're awesome.
If that job is there, why would I get it? - See response to question 2.
So what guarantees me my future? - You're awesomeness
And even if I get mine, what is the cost? - Happiness, if you so desire.
Will I be crushing someone else's in the process? - Maybe, but it's okay because of the response to questions 2-4. And also that's life.
What if I become one of those people? - You won't.
More importantly, what means more: finding your happy place, or helping others find theirs? - Who said you can't do both?
That's really all there is to it.
Mission Success! Fears assuaged - check. Saved the world - check.
P.S. I like the quote. It's clever.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaOJfeVIR7K13Q5roi77FEIu3DzIdiDMK-4cAZ0kdrr0MbXJSf
Thanks :) Not at all what I expected it to be XD you're awesome too :)
DeleteHi.
ReplyDeleteIf you-Mayuri Viswanathan-the epitome of beauty, intelligence, and perfection, cannot reach you expectations, then hell, we're all screwed. If the world out there is in fact difficult enough to fail THE Mayuri Viswanathan, then I'll probably end up flipping burgers at Sonic- yes, Sonic, because even McDonald's is too classy for me.
But even if you don't accomplish your goals completely- so what? You'll still be a bright and wonderful person. Screw the world. I'm sure you'll realize-as the rest of us already have- that no matter WHAT you do, you will be freaking FANTASTIC at it. So yeah, take that as a challenge to become the world's best intelligent vegetarian burger-flipper (not really).
We all (or at least, I) constantly complain about the expectations that our parents set- like my somehow miraculous scoring a 2400 on the SAT, courtesy of daddy. But really, it's the expectations that we set for ourselves that may influence us the most. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with expecting so much out of life. I mean, come on, I'm brilliant, you're brilliant, so obviously we're going to live brilliant lives. And personally, I believe that striving towards this brilliant life full of stability, wealth, happiness, and most importantly, attractive men, is a part of our experience as human beings (wow that was deep). But even if we don't do just about everything we set out to do, we'll still do a hell of a lot of things.
Setting your expectations high is the best thing to do, because truthfully, I'm probably not going to be a multi-billionaire philanthropist that is married to Matthew Gray Gubler. But hey, who says I can't try? And by trying, what I end up with, will be that much closer to what I want.
K time for chem. Bye~
Thank you <3. As long as I have friends like you in my life, I don't think I'll ever lose hope. :)
DeleteDamn it Vivian, your comment upstaged mine xD
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